The hormonal changes that initiate transition from childhood to adulthood begin around the age of 10 or 11 in girls, and a year or so later in boys. This is reflected in the earlier sexual maturity of girls, and in their earlier spurt in weight and height gain. Although the order in which the events of puberty occur is more or less the same in most youngsters, the age at which these events happen varies considerably.
In most boys the first signs of puberty - an increase in testicle size and a darkening of the skin of the scrotum - occur between the age of 11 and 12; six months to a year later pubic hair appears and the penis starts to grow; at the same time the prostate gland and the vesicles in which sperm is stored start to enlarge. The first ejaculation of semen, often during a 'wet dream', usually occurs about a year after the penis starts to grow. At the age of 13 or 14 the larynx begins to enlarge and the voice deepens, unreliably at first. At about the same time hair appears on the upper lip and chin, under the arms, and on the rest of the body. By the age of 17 most boys are sexually mature, though it may take another year for them to reach full height, and another year again before chest and body hair reach full luxuriance.
In girls the first sign of puberty is slight swelling of the breasts; this usually happens between the age of 10 and 11. Pubic hair begins to appear at around the same time, before underarm hair. Most girls have their first period (menarche) between the age of 121/2 and 131/2, just after their rate of height gain reaches its peak, but menarche at 11 or 14 is not at all uncommon. Menstruation is irregular at first, but usually settles down to a 26-28 day cycle by the age of 16. At the same age height gain levels off.
Adolescence is a time of great emotional and intellectual change too, a time when families need to give the most, and also take the most. A teenager has to negotiate some very tricky conflicts, between dependence and independence, between values held by parents and those held by peers, between wanting to be as free as a bird and having to make commitments. If parents are not prepared to be very open about their own feelings, about their own attitudes to sex, drugs, politics, and the world in general, and about their own experiences of growing up, the conflicts of adolescence can be very painful and very lonely, and are likely to repeat themselves in later life. A balance has to be struck between over-strictness and laissez faire. Laying down the law too heavily is likely to cause humiliation and resentment, but not making any rules is likely to be misconstrued as not caring.
No matter how untidy, loud, rude, hostile, and rebellious adolescents may be in their efforts to achieve a sense of self, what they need most is love and understanding, and their own 'space', physically as well as emotionally. Once they realise and accept that parents also need their own space, the stage is set for healthy transition to adulthood. |