Rarely due to any physical disorder, although Spinal Cord Injury, urethral stricture (see Penis Problems), or surgical removal of prostate gland or testis may interfere with ejaculatory mechanism. Ejaculation can occur without orgasm, and if refractory period (time between one climax and the next) is short orgasm can occur without ejaculation; capacity for repeated ejaculation decreases rapidly after puberty - only 5 per cent of 40-year-olds are capable of ejaculating more than once during a love-making session. Ejaculation during dreams, ‘wet dreams', is quite normal.
There is nothing abnormal about 'premature' ejaculation - climaxing before or as soon as penis enters vagina - but it does suggest anxiety, however caused, lack of concern for partner's satisfaction, and perhaps ignorance of female sexual response and of techniques for delaying orgasm.
If it happens regularly, it can lead to profound sexual dissatisfaction for both partners; woman begins to feel used, cheated, angry - all of which may depress her desire for sex (see Lack of Desire for Sex); man begins to feel self-conscious; dreads climaxing too soon, and may become so anxious about his sexual performance that even erection becomes difficult (see Erection Problems). Rapid orgasm and ejaculation is common at beginning of many relationships; as trust and affection increase and anxiety wears off, timing of orgasm is easier to control. In isolated cases urethritis (see Penis Problems), prostatitis (see Prostate Problems), or a nervous disorder may make it difficult to delay orgasm and ejaculation, but if early ejaculation is causing problems and has no physical basis, try the self-help measures below; if you still feel you need expert help, ask your medical doctor about sex therapy; it may be necessary for you and your partner to attend sessions since problem is seldom one-sided. Constitutional homeopathic treatment is strongly recommended; in the meantime, the remedies below are useful dissolvers of anxiety and tension.
Specific remedies to be taken even 12 hours for up to 5 days
- Feeling short-tempered and impatient, craving excitement, use of drugs such as cocaine Nux 30c
- Increased desire for sex accompanied by lack of self-confidence and expectation of failure Lycopodium 30c
Self-help: Relax before you make love, and don't make love when you are tired or in a hurry. When orgasm is near, you or your partner should firmly squeeze penis just below glans; this will not affect erection, but will delay orgasm and ejaculation. Try wearing a condom to reduce sensitivity. Try frequent tensing of the anal muscles and cold showers. Take strenuous exercise. Try masturbating before intercourse. As a last resort, try anaesthetic ointments or creams.