| Problems of sexual identity and problems arising from chromosomal anomalies lie outside the scope of this book and are, more properly, the province of the psychotherapist and psychosexual counsellor. However, constitutional homeopathic prescribing can help to relieve tension and anxiety where these are part of the picture.
Erection, orgasm, and ejaculation are reflexes, but there is nothing automatic about them. They can be helped or hindered by thoughts and emotions. They can be helped by trust, relaxation, and fantasy. They can be hindered by guilt, sexual taboos, and fear of inadequacy even when all the right sensual stimuli are there, even when all the nerves, blood vessels, glands, and hormones involved in sexual response are perfectly normal. Male orgasm is a more reliable response than female orgasm, during intercourse that is; during masturbation both sexes' capacity for orgasm is about equal.
Sexual anatomy and the techniques of sexual intercourse are described at length in many books, but as anyone who has been in a long-term sexual relationship knows, sexual intercourse is a great deal more than the art of applying the right techniques to the right erogenous zones. Indeed, sexual intercourse is only one aspect of sexuality. To concentrate on it to the exclusion of dress, humour, flirting, seduction, affection, and so on is like insisting that music begins and ends with Beethoven and Haydn.
There is no reason why sexual drive and sexual function should not continue into our 80s or even 90s, with, as one wag put it, this important proviso: those who enjoy the party tend to leave last!
Intercourse does make demands on the heart, but if you can climb two flights of stairs without suffering from palpitations or getting painfully out of breath, you should be quite safe. Penis size has very little to do with female satisfaction, primarily because it is the outer third of the vagina which is the most sensitive. Much has been written about the mismatch of the male and female 'sexual response cycle' as a source of sexual dissatisfaction; both are described in terms of an excitation phase, a plateau phase, orgasm, a resolution phase, and a refractory phase. The most common complaint is that he climaxes too fast, she too slowly - however, anthropologists have pointed out that this may be a cultural rather than a physiological phenomenon. What does seem to be a physiological phenomenon, however, is that very few men over the age of 25 reach orgasm more than once in a love-making session. Quite a few women do. Foreplay is a way of prolonging the man's excitement and plateau phase and bringing the women to plateau phase or even orgasm before penetration. Men are not responsible for women's orgasms; both sexes are responsible for their own.
What a person expects during sexual intercourse and what actually happens may be rather different. This is often a cause of problems. For example, orgasm is not always dramatic or obvious - some people moan or cry out, others are silent; nor is it experienced the same way on every occasion. Synchronized climaxes happen a lot in novels but not in the real world -psychologists would say that 'coming' together is an intermittent reward that serves to strengthen rather than diminish sex drive. Techniques that please one person may not excite someone else - we are all different in our capacity for pleasure.
What a person wants from intercourse may be unreasonable - this too can be a source of conflict. Love-making seldom solves problems in other areas of life, nor does it always shut them out. Quite the reverse, in fact. Job worries, money problems, identity problems, depression, boredom, fatigue, and so on have a habit of getting into bed with us. Sexual education begins with the way in which we treat our children. Hitting or beating a child, or denying physical affection, may make it very difficult for that child to have loving sexual relationships; his or her sexuality may be tinged with sadism or masochism. Many films and advertisements on television subtly suggest that sex equals power and possession, that sex is not real sex unless it is violent and exploitative. In the author's view, parents should do everything possible to combat this distortion.
Like every other part of the body the genitals are susceptible to infection, especially to sexually transmitted infection. There are specific homeopathic remedies for such ailments, but in these days of global travel and high mobility the giving of antibiotics for some of these conditions is, the author feels, justifiable on medical and social grounds. However, a susceptibility to sexually transmitted infections indicates an underlying miasm which constitutional treatment may help to dispel. |
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